Let's talk about anger:
So its probably the most misunderstood feeling we deal with on the regular. We're living in a time where emotions are encouraged to be sanitized-- too much "focus on the positive", "power of attraction", "love and light" bullshit. I fell victim to the good vibe tribe for a really long time. These concepts enslaved me, divorced me from myself, and kept me from feeling my humanity. I couldn't hold that space for myself-- that deep understanding and compassion for whichever way I showed up. And, in turn, I was unable to hold that space for others.
Those phrases keep us in line, encouraging us to suppress our more complicated feelings in an effort to stay calm and peaceful and joyous. It's a fucking lie.
Fear, shame, guilt, anger, embarrassment, and disgust... are all emotions we're taught to stay above. Taught to be better than. Taught to imprison. Our society chooses to not teach productive pathways to express our anger. We are shown that it's too heavy to externalize-- inevitably leading to internalization, repression, and shame. It's not something we are comfortable working with, sitting in, and getting to know.
After losing Callum, years of anger rose to the surface. Because my emotions were all too strong to "manage" I just let them come. I allowed myself to be wild and untamed. To scream and rage (thank you Brandon🙏). All with an unabiding trust. In a hope that I would get to its source and to its truth. Getting to that place, seeing it as a protective measure, helped me make peace with this most complicated emotion.
Anger is a fire. Anger is a response. Anger is a motivator. Anger is an honest and true experience of perceived injustice and disrespect. It is the strong and valid response to a personal and/or a collective violation.
It is the spirit within us that speaks wisdom and digs in and screams "NO". That spirit will endlessly fight to protect our sovereignty. That spirit knows wrong from right and will stand beside their morals. That spirit is angry. She will be listened to and respected, honored and loved. She is a part of our story and the clearest vision for our future. She is ready to be heard. Are you angry?
A quick PSA: anger and aggression are typically conflated, however they are wholly different. One is an emotion, one is a behavior. One can be constructive, the other can be destructive. When aggression is turned on ourselves and others it is abuse. Do not stand for abuse. Love yourself more and do the work is requires to get right with yourself.