happy solstice from Fairy Lake🖐☀️
our two babies ❤ the dragonfly and the bee
Callum always sends love through winged messengers while we're at the lake
We spent a couple weeks out here, by ourselves, after he died to try and pull all the pieces back together again
It was magical and heartbreaking and we were surrounded by dragonflies at every moment
they acted like little reminders of his love
ephemeral and delicate, here but then gone
just like our boy
I remember early morning pumping session, followed by a full day floating the fishing boat from bay to bay
I remember the first time we caught a fish on that trip. Something that was normal for our family became so visceral and violent after the loss
I remember feeling like the sunsets and the quiet and the call of the loon mamas helped bring me back to life
It reminded me that we're always held by SOMETHING regardless of the chaos of life and loss and love
And this time around the message is: we grow
We make new memories. We heal the losses. We honor the traditions of our family as we nurture our babies. We keep alive the stories of those who passed by keeping our feet and heart at this lake
This time is filled with LIFE
Bea immediately stripped when we got to the cottage. She dropped her clothes, grabbed a fishing net, and went down to the dock-- booty out-- to hop in the water 🤣 (clearly just as determined as her first time fishing!)
@brandon.of.bjerke went in after her and on his bee hat landed a dragonfly
CAB and BEB together in spirit
Like the four terminals of a cross that are bound together by an origin: dad, mom, Callum Angus, and Beatrix Ea
Bea walked out to where I am just to tell me "mama I love you" and then ran back to watching Camp Cretaceous and I have the overwhelming feeling of being in the flow of life like a fish in a current or a dragonfly on the wind
Happy Solstice Magic, sweet friends-- that's all I got ❤❤
