when you find yourself in a rut, learn to enjoy the scenery

my equinox lesson this season 😆

this phrase came to me while Bea and Ebby moved through the deep channels made by 4x4s plowing through the sand

they just had fun playing and digging and listening to me yell about being safe

it got me thinking about the ruts of life

I don't mean the challenges of life but the actual space between experiences

the time after you've started something but before you've finished it

the valley of the vast

our eyes are neither on the prize or the horizon, but just on the surroundings

I'm talking about the time just before we emerge from a deep dive-- our lungs can't take it, we feel like we're about to explode from the pressure-- at the same time we have to breath so intensely we feel like we'll died, we also feel so damn alive in our bodies and the urgency of the experience

I'm talking about the belly land between the mountain peaks filled with unseen joys and untold riches-- we are usually too focused on getting to the heights of beyond that we forget this low-lying space can speak to us with nuance and tenderness and give us everything we need

this can be a time or space or experience we choose to avoid, to not settle into

the space in-between is uncomfortable and unknown and a little directionless, kind of like a waiting room between your arrival and your destination

I've been forcing myself to be as present as possible while in the depths of my ruts to feel out all the nooks and crannies of my life and my feelings

I really do love when how I'm feeling on the inside shows up on the outside-- perfect equinox balancing act

so here we are!

spending our time with the pelicans and the plovers, the sand crabs and the fishermen, the puppies and the toddlers at Island Beach State Park in NJ the past few days

nice to reflect on where we are at, at the moment-- at a place that means so much to me