Boundaries: getting schooled on setting them and dealing with those who regularly cross them/ being shown the differences between a valuable harvest and the unnecessary overgrowth

I've worked very hard at cultivating and communicating my boundaries.

I've spent years sitting with my YES and my NO-- getting into the nitty gritty and subtle differences between the two. Knowing what feels right for my body and my spirit the moments I'm faced with a push. Internal or external. I ask the same questions... how does this make me feel? Is it a yes? Is it a no?

I understand the places where my comfort thrives. I understand when I can coax my comfort into new, exciting, and empowering territories. I understand when that comfort spills too far over the edge and I begin to feel a little too vulnerable. I see when to reel it in and engage in tender self care.

These things are now done with autonomy and agency. These things are done with the wisdom and experience that comes from years of working through abusive relationships. Years of boundary crossings. Years of emotional labor. Years of personal supression in the favor of others.

The most difficult thing is confidently and regularly communicating personal boundaries. It's not pretty. It doesn't always keep unhealthy people/behaviors/attitudes/actions at bay. Sometimes we're forced to become assholes just to protect ourselves, just to make sure we're not allowing others to walk all over us.

I spent a lot of time not knowing that I could speak truth to "power" to disarm it. I spent time telling myself to be kind to everyone else but myself. To prioritize everyone else but myself. To make space for everyone else but myself.

That spillage needs to stop. You have to dig deep to reinforce what you need. NO is the most powerful word you can feel into and say. Say it over and over and over until the message is clear.

These abusive patterns emerge from time to time to re-engage you. To teach you more about the health of strong boundaries. To teach you to understand what you need, who in your life is aligned with and respectful of your boundaries, and that your YES and your NO is NOT up for a debate 💪🏽 fuck that noise