Death Day:
A year has passed since you have passed. Our loveliest love. Our sweetest boy. The calmest and most gentle soul who brought so much fire and change with him.

Thank you for making your home in me. Thank you for teaching us that Love and Spirit is unending. Thank you for giving us this opportunity.

Thank you for giving us this opportunity. Thank you... really?

After everything, how is it possible that your death has ENRICHED our lives?

In leaving, you taught us the most magical act of all: ALCHEMIZATION. Literally turning our shit into gold.

This year has been a time for transformation, transitions, and formlessness. A time of unbearable loss and inevitable growth. A time of not knowing what's next. Unsure footings and a bunch of little deaths along the path. Things that we had to let go of; people we couldn't rely on because the depth of THIS sadness was too much for them to bear; behaviors within ourselves and our relationship that just didn't fit us anymore. All put to rest, all set aside, all to make room for more. And saying goodbye is really really hard work. It's painful. It's necessary for growth.

I keep going back to the garden as therapy. The garden as me. This is the first year of my life where I am so completely happy with her. The first year where I'm not afraid to prune and pick, to dig and transfer--- to cultivate her wildness. The first year I know that nothing will ever really tame her.

I have taken the time to tend to her plants and her space. To shower her in rainbows. To nourish her with compost and kind words. To love her for all she is, all she will grow to be, all she lets go of. To honor the ways she serves and what she gives: beauty, sustainace, sanctuary, a home for many winged and spirited creatures of this dimension and others.

None of this is possible without death. Gardening is a practice in life, death, and rebirth cycles. No matter how much we try to pretty the process, our hands always get dirty. Life is temporary. Every plant will shine, shift, shed, and die before it's reborn. We are grave diggers and seed spreaders.

I've become comfortable with turning all this shit into gold. Master gardener right here 🌱