I've been doing automatic writing late at night. The anxiety I've been feeling usually peaks at 4am. Heart pounds, tough time catching my breath, mental chatter is high-- I know it's related to my babies and processing their deaths
So, in the moments before pencil hits paper, I clear my head and open my heart and ask for some guidance. This is what came through the other night:
"Thinking I'm alone in this is the point when I run into problems.
That separation is pain. That separation is illusion.
Truth is: we're all connected by a thread that runs through our hearts and through time.
This thread is made out of energy. The energy of creation. The energy of love. The energy everlasting.
Like a radiance and resonance from our heart, it beats and pulses out into the world. It flows without trying. So stop trying.
The same for our "progress".
Evolution is built into our DNA. If we step back and allow all things to flow from that sacred river, our lives can be so much richer.
Trust is hard in this place. But tapping into the "other" side-- the side of infinite-- makes all things possible. Like dipping a hand into the milkyness of the stars and pulling out gems.
We are not alone.
We are supported. That support is neverending and replenishing if we just step aside and trust.
I open my arms wide and welcome what is meant to come. Every lesson tailor made for me regardless of the "pain" I may perceive at the time. All my "pain" made me who I am right now. And I love me.
This is what our ancestors call rainbow union. The magical thread that connects us through body, spirit, and time. Never broken.
End of transmission."
BIG OUTBREATH writing this down and rereading it for the first time since quickly scribbling it
I thought this might sound like a stoner epiphany-- significant in the moment and hollow afterward-- but it feels like fresh air in a stagnant space.
Anyway, I thought I would share in case it resonates with anyone 🤷♀️
We're all in this together. We're all trying our best with what we've got. I can really appreciate that with where I'm at right now.
